When it comes to parenting, are you in a slump? I think that I'm in one right now. Although there aren't any definitive rules to gauge this, but I'm pretty sure that's what is happening to me. I can tell you from experience that I don't like being in a parenting slump. I feel like I am the only person who knows what is going on, but I am sure that there are others just like me.
So, I'm kind of apprehensive, but I'm going to be honest with you. I have the parenting blues. Am I nervous about this whole thing? Yes, I am. I feel like I should always live the life of a super mom. Most of us have accomplished many things in life that are very commendable and challenging. So, why is it so hard to be a good parent to someone who is so much younger?
How do the parenting blues make me feel? I am snapping at my kids, and I feel horrible because I should be able to handle parenting situations with relative ease. These days, everything seems to be such a hassle to get right. Even the little everyday things like getting the kids ready for school seem to take too much effort. I don't feel fulfilled. I'm saying no a lot more than I want to, and this is in my head as well as out loud. You know the types of things such as "stop hitting your sister," and "don't do that."
I cannot tell you how it got to this point either. But is that really important right now? Everyone probably has a different story about how and why they have the parenting blues. So, I guess I shouldn't worry about how I got them. My main focus should be how to get rid of them. I'm thinking about doing some things to get out of this parenting slump. If you get into a slump, maybe you should do some of the following things also.
Connect with Your Children One-on-One
Deal with each child individually. Things can get so hectic that it is easy to lose that special bond between you and your child. Spend quality time with each child so that you can get back to where you were emotionally.
Talk to Other Parents
Talk and interact with other parents. Yes, we probably come into contact with other parents every day. But the kind of interaction that I'm talking about should be more than just casual small talk. This is about actually connecting with others and being vulnerable. There are probably other parents who feel the same way that you do. You might run into another parent who also has the parenting blues and wants to talk to someone who is going through the same thing. Wouldn't that be helpful?
Read Some Parenting Books or Articles
Yeah this might seem obvious, but books and articles can give you food for thought.
The following books have helped me in the past:
Teach Your Children Well
Building Resilience
Siblings without Rivalry
For instance, when I read Building Resilience, it stressed that listening to your children was very important. Actually it is better than talking to them. This book calmed me down. Sometimes, I just don't know the right things to say to my children. But I find it very easy to listen to them.
Take Small Steps when Creating Your Parenting Goals
I'm taking baby steps when it comes to my parenting goals. For example, I want to enjoy making breakfast for my kids. I plan to do things that you see in magazines such as putting smiley faces on pancakes with strawberries. You might think this is sort of goofy and off target. But remember, I said I'm taking baby steps.
Don't beat yourself up when you get the parenting blues.
Criticizing yourself makes this whole thing much worst. Not only are you in a parenting slump, but you're beating yourself up about it. Don't put so much pressure on yourself. Don't allow your inner voice to be so judgmental. If you need to take a little break from everything, then do it. This may seem harder than it sounds, but ask someone to watch the kids for a while. Even if you have to pay a babysitter, it's a good investment in yourself. Also, keep in mind that you're a wonderful parent who is in a little slump at the moment. But you can still turn things around for the better.
What do all of these things have in common? They all have to do with connecting with your feelings, children, spouse and overall support network. All in all, I discovered something while writing this article. I shouldn't be embarrassed because I have the parenting blues. The important thing is that I know what needs to be done. I'm going to focus more on my connections.
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